All Too Predictable
by SomeGuyOrOther
Summary: An effort to get out of the fiancee mess upsets the applecart only to see it replaced with a shiny new applecart


All Too Predictable

An old drabble, which I thought I'd upload just for the hell of it. It's a bit derivative, in that it's a fanfic based on a fanfic based on another fanfic…

A Postscript to "What Women Want" .ca/Ranma/More_a_Woman/What_Women_, by "Saotome Ranchan", which is in turn an alternate ending to "More a Woman" by Chris Angel. .ca/Ranma/More_a_

(Ranma tries to end the fiancée mess with Permanence Water and Spring of Drowned Man water. Results are not what he/she hoped for. Google is your friend)

Insert standard disclaimer of choice here!

One Month Later:

A redhead comes into view, leaping at speed from rooftop to rooftop, a hunted expression on her face. Normal enough, although the observer might note a few things amiss: the martial arts slippers, pants, and blue silk shirt actually seem to fit rather than being multiple sizes too large, the red hair appears to be tied back in a ponytail rather than a pigtail - with a big white bow! – And - can it be? – She appears to be wearing some sort of bra under the shirt, judging from the substantially reduced distracting motion.

Still, whatever peculiarities in her appearance, Ranma is doing something quite normal: running at the head of a pursuing mob. The composition of the mob, however, has changed somewhat.

First there comes a purple-haired young man in Chinese dress, balancing a large box of takeout on one hand and shouting something about the "too-too good meal" Ranma's Airen has cooked for her. Then a tall young man wearing an apron speeds by, his hair in a ponytail, with a huge spatula on his back. He bears aloft a tray holding a large okonomiyaki and is yelling for the "Chinese Casanova" to leave his Ranma-chan alone. Third comes a brawny young man in relatively normal dress, one powerful hand clenching all too tightly a crumpled and by now leaking box of chocolates, on his face the deeply annoyed look of someone who has lost (by implacable degree of potential mother-in-law [1])his principal method of relief from eternal frustration and frequent humiliation and embarrassment.

More people follow. An idiot in Samurai garb, waving a bouquet of expensive roses and a large stick, loudly proclaiming his love for the "pony-tailed goddess". A short Ninja, almost bowed double under a bushel basket of treats, struggling to keep up with his master. A violet-eyed girl in a leotard, scattering black rose petals as she leaps after Tendo-kun, the simply lovely boy that surely had been sent by the gods to assuage her crushing grief [2] after Ranma's mysterious disappearance. And a tall, raven-haired girl in white robes and very thick glasses, waving a pair of swords and loudly proclaiming her total devotion to one "Shampoo" in between howling death threats after Ranma.

And still more figures appear. A wizened troll in a dark purple ninja outfit, carrying a large bag of sexy lingerie, pleading with Ranma-chan to try on some of his silky darlings rather than the _so_ unflattering sports-bra she wears. Rapidly gaining, there comes an infuriated lost boy, thundering threats of vengeance against Ranma for forcing a girl to do so horrible a thing and then not marrying her.[3] And bringing up the rear, at ground level, a herd of hippo-sized Sumo pigs in full combat regalia. Commanding the porcine battalion, atop the largest pig of all, a spear-wielding girl with pink streaks in her hair mutters imprecations (G-rated ones, admittedly) against the wicked girl who was trying to lure her Ryoga-chan away. [4]

At the head of the parade, the redhead began muttering "Baka, baka, baka..." under her breath and bonking herself over the head with a mallet pulled from thin air as she ran along.

[1] And, to be fair, also due to some self-loathing on his part after he stopped to visualize the situation.

[2]She had been about to cut off her hair and join a monastery, or so she claimed: but then she'd always been a bit dramatic.

[3]Tensions have been sharpened by a creeping suspicion that Ranma _had been gay all along_, which rather colored the fanged boy's memories of various past misadventures. Ranma denies this furiously, to no effect.

[4]It is a Rule that Ranma's relationships with other people will be always misinterpreted, and she _had _seen what looked just like Ranma kissing her boyfriend…


End file.
